{"id":214,"date":"2018-12-03T21:36:21","date_gmt":"2018-12-03T21:36:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/woocommerce-198657-625630.cloudwaysapps.com\/?page_id=214"},"modified":"2019-04-04T13:10:22","modified_gmt":"2019-04-04T13:10:22","slug":"day-service-case-study","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.guildfordaction.org.uk\/day-service\/day-service-case-study","title":{"rendered":"Day Service Case Study"},"content":{"rendered":"

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At Guildford Action we create a home environment, a model for relationships and we nurture the individual person and their identity. We are a community and set about to bring real change in people, many of whom have had chaotic and damaged lives.<\/h3>\n

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Gary’s story<\/h3>\n

Living in the woods, with only a duvet to your name, is no way to be a father. My son told me I was a dirty tramp and that he never wanted to see me again. And he wasn\u2019t the only one. Becoming homeless not only brings shame on yourself but on all those closest to you. For almost all the time I was homeless, not one of my 8 children spoke to me. \u201cNo one can help you,\u201d were my son\u2019s parting words. And he was right, no one could.<\/p>\n

Wind the clock back a year and I was sitting at home, watching Sky TV, married to my wife, 14 grandkids, lovely house, working 3 jobs to make sure that none of us wanted for anything. Happy as Larry. How did that man finish up in the woods with only the clothes he stood up in, and a duvet?<\/p>\n

In 2012 my marriage broke down and it tore me apart. We divorced and I had nowhere to go so I finished up in a hostel. I kept myself to myself; I wasn\u2019t part of the homeless community. This was just a temporary set up. And I had responsibilities. My mum was getting on and needed more help. I had time so I spent my days caring for her, but when she got to 80 she said her time was up and and the next thing she was in hospital. I had to switch off the life support machine. You shouldn\u2019t have to do that for your own mum. Within a few weeks I\u2019d had an argument with one of the staff at the hostel, (no one should be spoken to like that), and that was it, I left. Me and my duvet, off to the woods.<\/p>\n

After that my existence became a blank. All I had to do each day was survive. \u00a0Life went in 2 week cycles \u2013 receive my money, buy a week\u2019s bus ticket (a way to keep warm) and get some food and drink. By the 2nd<\/sup> week I\u2019d have no money left so I\u2019d walk the streets, go in the bins, pick up biscuits from the floor and come to Guildford Action for a hot meal. Life was horrible. Each day I\u2019d wait until it was dark before I\u2019d go back into the woods. I\u2019d chosen to be near to where my family lived, but I never wanted them to see me there. I\u2019d shamed them enough.<\/p>\n

12 months later my ex wife, died. Massive heart attack. She was 49. The kids wouldn\u2019t let me go to her funeral. You don\u2019t stop loving someone just because you\u2019re divorced. We\u2019d had 33 years together.<\/p>\n

I started talking to Tommy at Guildford Action. There\u2019s only so much shame you can carry before you need to tell someone. Tommy got me a tent. Now I was a man in the woods with a duvet and a tent. I\u2019d been upgraded! I told my son about the tent. \u201cTommy\u2019s a tosser,\u201d he said. But unlike my son, Tommy wasn\u2019t ashamed of me. No one at Guildford Action was. It\u2019s a place of kindness, a refuge, somewhere where there\u2019s always someone to talk to. To make things better.<\/p>\n

My eldest son was a lover of champagne and drugs. They found him on Brighton sea front wearing only sunglasses and a top hat. On a toilet. Dead. Guildford Action helped me fill in the forms to get a grant to be able to go to his funeral. I got a suit. My kids were there but none of them spoke to me. A tent in the woods and a suit wasn\u2019t enough to take away the shame.<\/p>\n

Tommy put me in touch with the council. He said he\u2019d get me into the YMCA. No one from the council had ever followed through on a promise so I didn\u2019t see why he would. But Tommy said to stick with him, and he actually did it. He got me into the YMCA. It was luxury; clean sheets, a pillow, meals. I had Christmas there. I was still on my own, and now my brother had died aswell, but I was starting to sort myself out. I was beginning to talk to Tommy as a friend, a friend I could trust. I felt less ashamed.<\/p>\n

Now don\u2019t think that Tommy\u2019s the answer to all problems. I do remember once, while I was in the woods, coming to show him my feet, all red and swollen. I\u2019ve never seen him panic so much. He went off on one, saying about gangrene and needing to get me to a doctors. Jo rushed in with a foot spa and started washing my feet, like I was a condemned man!! \u00a0Having a tent was great, but without my feet life in the woods would be hopeless. The three of us were in a right state of worry. \u00a0I didn\u2019t have gangrene thank goodness. The doctor said I just needed to take my shoes and socks off more often. Let my feet breathe. I\u2019ve not bothered to ask Tommy for medical advice since then.<\/p>\n

Since the YMCA, I\u2019ve moved lots more times to other hostels and shared houses. Every time I\u2019m supposed to move, I get anxious and don\u2019t want to go but Tommy makes sure I do. He works with hostel support worker, and together they\u2019ve been there for me every step of the way. I did have to put my foot down once (lucky I\u2019ve still got one!) when they tried to move me into sheltered accommodation for the elderly! It\u2019ll be OK, Tommy said; I told him I didn\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n

Now I had places to live I wanted to to have my possessions back from the hostel House, where I was before the woods; my driving licence, mum\u2019s death certificate, photos. But they had disposed of them all. Gone. \u00a0I understand they can\u2019t keep everyones stuff forever, but this was hard to take. Even Tommy couldn\u2019t help with that. After three years of losing so much, this seemed like the final straw but Guildford Action weren\u2019t going to let this be the thing that sent me back the wrong way, and they took it upon themselves to make sure I carried on with all the progress I\u2019d made to rebuild my life.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m now in my own flat. My children have started to come round to see me. Sitting with my son, watching telly and chilling out is amazing. I can\u2019t see all the grandkids yet but that\u2019s something for the future; shame doesn\u2019t disappear overnight. Of course, I\u2019m not fully used to it all yet. I don\u2019t like being there on my own, being responsible for bills, having to wash clothes \u2013 my time in the woods hasn\u2019t completely left me.<\/p>\n

They say the toughest way is up, and they\u2019re right, it is, but while ever Guildford Action exists I\u2019ve got people helping me to carry on going in the right direction. At least I know where I\u2019m heading now and it feels like I\u2019m going the right way.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column width=”1\/3″][vc_single_image image=”246″ img_size=”full”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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